Day 2 I took the visiting Scotsman out of Porn Valley and into Hollywood. First we hit some of my favorite SciFi/Cult movie locations like Bronson Cave and the Invasion of the Body Snatchers bridge. Then it was all Film Noir and Chandler from there on out, with a little Bukowski and Tom Waits thrown in for flavor. We also drove up Mulholland, cruised around Lake Hollywood, and checked out Griffith Observatory. Then, only slightly sunburned, we headed back out to the Valley.
After Russel subjected me to the unspeakable horror of The Krankies, I felt I owed the boy some deep hurting. Obviously a traditional American Bad Movie BBQ was the way to go. I invited all my bad movie loving friends to hit the Scotsman with their best shot.
Keith Rainville brought this extra special nightmare fuel as our opening salvo. From there we ran highlights from such cheesetastic epics as Hercules in New York, The Curious Dr Humpp, Ship of Monsters, 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Night of the Bloody Apes, Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood (featuring our own Maria Alexander’s man pet as a zombie pimp) and the heavyweight champ of the evening, the awesomely awful Suburban Sasquatch.
Speaking of heavyweights, we wanted to make sure Russel kept his strength up so he could endure this kind of hardcore cinematic torture, so we thought we’d provide some familiar comfort food from his homeland. With an American twist, of course. In addition to the usual grilled hot dogs and steaks, CDV’s roommates Adam and Lisa fired up the deep fryer and whipped up a batch of deep fried Twinkies. Not just deep fried, but deep fried in BACON FAT! And because they’re just not unhealthy enough on their own, the lovely and talented Lili Chin continued the pork-for-dessert theme with her own homemade bacon ice cream. Let me repeat that, for the cheap seats: deep fried Twinkies with bacon ice cream.
Photographic evidence here.
Amazingly enough, Russel somehow survived both the no-holds-barred bad movie massacre and the artery-clogging deep fried belly bombs. I dropped him off in Burbank yesterday morning for a quick jaunt to Phoenix, and I’ll be picking him up in a few hours for round 2 of his L.A. adventure.