In the name of research, I joined several of the most popular dating sites/apps and have been posting about my experience.
A male reader requested advice on profile photos, after I posted about how bad most straight men’s photos tend to be. You know, like this:
So here’s my thoughts on the subject.
1. Show your face, including your eyes. Avoid sunglasses and hats. Women want to know what you look like and if you’re hiding behind sunglasses, or show your abs but not your head, they will assume you’re cheating on your wife and afraid to be recognized. Needless to say, dick photos are never appropriate, unless you are looking to hook up with gay men.
2. Choose a close up photo. There’s nothing wrong with including secondary full body shots or action shots that show you doing the kinds of hobbies you enjoy, such as clog dancing, alligator wrestling or knitting, but your primary photo should be more of a head shot.
3. Choose a photo of just you. Never include your ex or current GF/wife, your bros, your hos, your mom, your offspring or your parole officer, even if you mostly cropped the other person out. Pets are ok to include in secondary photos, if attracting an animal lover is important to you, but I still say your primary photo should be you, alone.
4. DO NOT choose a photo in which you are visibly intoxicated. If you’re a mixologist or artisan cocktail enthusiast, I suppose it’s not a bad idea to show yourself with an interesting drink in your hand but avoid photos in which you’re holding a beer, surrounded by empties, and looking like you are either just about to or just finished yelling “WHOO HOO!”
5. Be aware of your background. A flattering photo where you’re standing in a filthy bathroom or a frilly pink little girl’s room or a slaughterhouse isn’t really all that flattering.
6. Be aware of what you’re wearing. You don’t have to dress up fancy unless that’s your preferred daily style, but if women have to wonder if that’s barbecue sauce or blood on your “I’m with stupid” t-shirt, you’ve already lost.
7. Have someone else take your photo. I know this probably makes me an old fart, but if all your photos are selfies, it makes me wonder if you have any friends. Also, avoid the narcissistic, shirtless, American Psycho style flexing-in-the-mirror selfie. Again, unless you’re looking to hook up with gay men.
Next up, some tips on sending the right message.