On Beyond London, part 1

I’ve been to England several times before, but never managed to make it outside of London. So when I got invited to the Theakston Old Peculiar Crime Writing Festival in Harrogate, I jumped at the chance.

With my con husband Martyn Waites as my trusty native guide, I started my English adventure in the bucolic hamlet of Pantywaist Upon Snufflebottom, where he resides with my sister-wife Linda, their two teenage daughters, and Lola, the second coolest dog in the world. First stop, Sainsbury’s.

You heard me. Sainsbury’s. One of my favorite things to do when I visit another country is supermarket tourism. (You can see one of my previous supermarket adventures here.) I was charmed and amused by mysterious delicacies like mushy peas and wild English rocket. (!) I was also intrigued by the idea of special supermarket two-for-one editions of popular novels.

I was treated to a traditional English roast, rare Doctor Who episodes and some truly top notch British noir. (Hell Drivers and Séance on a Wet Afternoon.) For my half of the cultural exchange, I shared The Monster Squad, taught the Waites girls how to snap on your momma, and apparently brought some legit urban grit to their sleepy little village. No lie, a bunch of neighborhood sheds were burgled during my visit, including Martyn’s, and the villains made off with several lawn mowers. A unprecedented crime wave in Pantywaist!

Tune in tomorrow for further adventures in Blighty.

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